Teats and Tweets
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The cows don’t actually write the tweets themselves, of course. The people who set up the project created a set of tweets, and the data gets filled in from the information collected by the milking machine. The tweets are extra creepy. Here are some of the most recent ones:
Teat race! Front lefty loses again at 3:3 seconds.
Teat tweet: left front teat took 3:49 secs.”Drop milky udders”
Farmers feed cities. 13.1 kgs.
Laser guided robot milker found my teats. Gave 18.7.
“More copious soon the teat-pressed torrents flow”
I just squirted 12.1 kgs of milk out of my teats in 5:19 seconds. What did you do today?
Sound much like anthropomorphism? And “teat race?” Shudder.
I’ll bet that we won’t see tweets like “gave birth today and my baby was taken away from me,” “so sad I have all this milk and can’t feed my calf,” “some man came and stuck his arm up my ass and then impregnated me.” No, apparently all cows have to say (and apparently care about) is how much milk they “gave.”